When Adam was in surgery for his wrists. We were told that the surgery would take two and a half hours. Four hours into the surgery I had a friend call me to see how Adam was doing. I explained that he was still in surgery and that I liked to think they where just doing an extra good job putting his wrists back together. She said "Melanie, you need to prepare for the worst! He could DIE"
I said "Okay I have to go now." I know that she felt, she was being helpful. But that was not what I needed to hear. She is the kind of person, that will always plan, prepare and expect the worst. She sees the gloom in every situation. Most of our conversation includes the words "It's so hard!"
It was at that time that I knew I would be cutting her out of my life. Not obviously or hurtfully. I just simply didn't initiates the calls, I took a step back and let that friendship dwindle a little bit. I knew we had months of recovery ahead of us. Moral was going to be low enough with just dealing with the situation and I didn't want to contaminate our life with any extra negativity.
Take a look at the people in your life. Who is the one that always cheers you up and that is always smiling. That will point out the good side of any events. That is who you want close to you.
Take a closer look, who sees the gloom everywhere. Who will come running at the sign of hardship and starts complaining about life. You may want to create a little more space between that person. If that person is you; you may want to start paying close attention to your inner thoughts.
It is my belief that we control our own thoughts. If they are negative, be aware, give yourself a mental shake and seek the positive side of the situation.
It is like the Cherokee legend "Two Wolf"
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. "A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.
"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego." He continued, "The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."